Moving Forward

As I write about my dreams I am continuously reminded of bad dreams. I'm not talking about nightmares where one dreams about monsters, death, violence and other extremely unpleasant situations that as is explained in Wikipedia will cause strong emotional/mental response. No I am talking about those in which one finds oneself in a situation that is unpleasant but not extreme, in a situation that one may feel stuck or awkward like when I dream that I am still working where I used to work. For sure that can't be defined as nightmare as I used to like my place of work and still have friends there that I remember with warm feelings.

Why is that I have this dream that is recurrent? What unfinished business I have that makes me go back there in my dreams? Is it related to some kind of failure? Is there something that I would like to fix from my past?

Now, trying to fix something in the past is, I say by definition, a lack of forgiveness. In this case it might symbolize judgement by me on my performance then. Did I reach to my full potential? On the surface it looks like I did very well, as I reached a high level in the academic and structural environment of that time. As a scientist I was named "National Researcher" and received the stipends corresponding to that title. Participating in professional associations I was named "President" of the Mexican Geophysical Union which is a national organization; and other things as well.
So where is the motivation to revisit those times? It looks like deep inside me there was a limitation, a sense of emptiness, and a lack of accomplishment. As I think about it now, and looking back into the past I am discovering that superficial accomplishments are not what we really desire or that really gives us satisfaction.
It is about time that I pause and take time to assess what is that in the deepest corners of my heart gives me satisfaction. It is about time that I find what is the marrow that nurtures my life and my existence.

Questions that come to mind are based on what is my idea of purpose. This moment, this day, this time as the connection between past and future is what it is, so I have to think about what I am doing as this is the only time I have. And ... these questions are what make me dream!